Preparing your kid(s) for a new baby’s arrival

My experience, tips & tricks, and workshop at Mirasoon!

Robyn Fidanque - Who am I

My name is Robyn Fidanque, and I’ll be facilitating a recurring workshop at Mirasoon about this very topic. About myself: I’m a high school biology teacher, youth life coach, a certified childbirth educator and doula. But above all: I’m a mom of three (ages 3, 11, and 16). With a diverse background, life experience and a heart for helping others, I’ve developed a deep passion for supporting parents and children through education, awareness and connection. My goal is to create supportive spaces where we can grow together with empathy and love.

I was seven when I got a baby brother

I remember vividly when my little brother was born. Back then (almost 30 years ago...), it wasn’t common to find out the baby’s gender before birth, so when he arrived, it was a

surprise to us all. I was standing on the front balcony when my mom pulled up in the car with him, and the first thing I saw were all the blue flowers and the iconic “It’s a boy!” balloon.

Seven-year-old me told my mom, “No! Take him back! Go swap him with another baby at the hospital! I don’t want a baby brother. What are we going to do with a BOY!?” I remember feeling sooo angry.

But actually, it wasn’t anger. I was afraid. I knew what it was like to have a baby sister (even though I wasn’t always a fan). But a baby brother? I knew he would have a penis, but what other changes and mysteries did boys bring? Was he going to mess up my room? Disturb my peace? It all felt too unknown, and I didn’t know how I was going to handle him.

But of course—as you probably already expect—I became his little mom. Even well into his

teens, I could handle him better than my mom could sometimes, haha.

A new baby changes everything

When a new baby arrives, the world of an older sibling shifts in ways that can feel

confusing, overwhelming, or even unfair, especially for younger children. Life as they knew

it suddenly includes more crying, more rules, less one-on-one time, and a new little human

demanding everyone's attention. These changes can stir up a wide range of emotions.

Sometimes these emotions are expressed directly, but often they are hidden behind

unexpected behaviors.

By being aware of what might be going on beneath the surface, we can respond with more empathy and help our children feel seen, safe, and supported. And in doing so, they'll be better able to work through their emotions.

Common changes and feelings when a new baby arrives

In the table below you can find some typical changes a new baby can bring, and how siblings might feel or behave in response.

Common changes	Possible emotions	Possible behavioral responses
Divided attention from parents	Jealousy, sadness, or insecurity	Clinginess, acting out, or "regressing" (e.g., wanting to be fed or carried again)
Less quiet time and more noise in general	Feeling overstimulated, frustrated, or annoyed	Covering ears, withdrawing, or becoming more sensitive to sound
New rules or restrictions (“Be gentle!” “Not now!”)	Feeling misunderstood or controlled	Testing limits, resisting rules, or being rough on purpose or the opposite: withdrawing
Shift in family routines or schedules	Feeling disoriented or left out	Trouble sleeping, tantrums, or needing extra reassurance
Seeing parents give physical affection to the baby	Feeling replaced or unloved	Acting cold toward the baby or acting out of character (=competing for attention)
Being told to “be a big boy/girl” suddenly	Feeling pressure or confusion about growing up	Regression (e.g., bedwetting, talking like a baby again) or overcompensating for validation
Not understanding what’s happening or why	Anxiety or fear	Asking many questions, needing more explanations, or inventing stories (sometimes quite bizarre ones)

Tip for parents: support and prepare new siblings

Understanding from the table above what your child might be feeling is the first step, but there’s also quite a lot you can do before and after the baby arrives to help siblings feel secure, included, and loved. The goal isn’t to prevent every difficult emotion (that mission is impossible), but to create a space where those emotions are acknowledged and handled with care.

Patience, anticipation, and quality time

While no two children will react exactly the same, there are practical ways you

can begin preparing your child for the new baby, like involving them in baby-related tasks,

reading sibling-themed books together, practicing how to interact gently, or setting aside

special one-on-one time with you that won’t change once the baby arrives. Some children

may need reassurance, others may crave involvement, and some just need extra patience and space to adjust. The key is to anticipate what your child might need based on their

personality, age, and current place in the family.

Workshop: preparing siblings for baby’s arrival

With the background of this current blog I developed an interactive workshop: “Preparing Siblings for Baby’s Arrival”

This workshop is aimed at parents, that are expecting a new baby, and during this workshop we’ll explore ways to:

• Support siblings through this transition and how to respond to their emotions.

• We’ll cover simple, age-appropriate ways to explain what’s happening, recognize emotional cues to ease the adjustment period and nurture positive sibling interactions (and relationships) from the start.

• Give you greater clarity and confidence, strategies and activities to use at home.

The first workshop will take place on Saturday, June 21st 2025, from 10:30 AM to 12:30 PM at Mirasoon, Dr. M.J. Hugenholtzweg 25 (Mirasoon Sport and Wellness). Book your slot here or via the button below!

Preparing siblings for baby’s arrival

Book Now

Why book this workshop?

Because bringing a new baby into the family affects everyone—and your older child needs just as much support as you do. This workshop gives you space to pause, reflect, and think ahead about what your child might be feeling, and how you can gently guide them through the changes. It's not about getting it perfect—it’s about being present, staying connected, and learning a few practical tools that can really make a difference. We'll keep it real, share stories, and find what works for your family.